Majeur fromage hits rock bottom

Do the RAC do bicycles?

PEO can exclusively reveal that last weekend, in a remote country park in Dorset, head honcho David Hawkins diced with death in a game of “chicken” with a wild goat.

30-something Mr Hawkins (I know, we couldn’t believe it either!) who, fortunately, was wearing his shiny pink crash helmet at the time, escaped relatively unscathed from the incident after going head to head with his four legged opponent.

He lost control of the bike after free-wheeling down a hill and ramming an innocent bystander
out of the way.

Mr Hawkins denies partaking in the sport, dubbed “Extreme Goating” and told PEO that “I never knew what was happening. All of a sudden a goat started running towards me, I just tried to get out of the way”.

He came from nowhere and rammed me from behind Victim, Nicholas Crean

According to several eye-witnesses the bike was firmly buried in the mud, and with a little help from startled volunteers Mr Hawkins was able to free his vehicle and ride home safely. Hawkins’ former boss, Richard Ensor, commented that this behaviour was “entirely out of character”, and that the press were spreading malicious rumours to “discredit and disrespect” him.

The RSPCA have declined to comment on the incident.